My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-9-27) →
The Smiths (161) Motion City Soundtrack (72) Richard Cheese (53) Gorillaz (39) Paramore (33) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-9-20) →
Nobody Likes Onions (4) Anberlin (4) Cute Is What We Aim For (3) Paramore (3) The Rocket Summer (3) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
nickwild: gompr: I’m slowly destroying all the friendships I made in high school. I’m slowey destroying all the freindships I have. Fixed that for me. I’m rapidly destroying my entire life. Fixed that for me.
Mentioning zombies in online personal ads is good,... →
Mentioning Jesus is apparently OK, but only because he later turned into a zombie.
NZ confectioner creates salami-flavoured... →
I never sausage a thing before in my life.
Gay porn actor pleads guilty in rooftop burglary →
This is a departure from his previous modus operandi of always entering through the backdoor.
Teen birth rates higher in highly religious states →
I blame the Catholic schoolgirl uniforms.
Frustrated Serena Williams Snaps Dildo In Half... →
(via notthatkindagay) In an written apology to the tennis world, she promises to try not to go off half-cocked again.
I know you want me. You know I wantcha. I know you...
(via notthatkindagay) This was the song I got ‘backroom extras’ to, from a stripper in Montreal last month. Passed the oral exam with flying colours…
Banana thief in gorilla suit not charged →
There were a bunch of reasons for the decision, say prosecutors.
Grocery store supports the fight against diabetes... →
Next month’s campaign involves discounted cigarettes in the fight against lung cancer.
Suspect identified in Ivy League school homicide →
Prosecutors will be seeking a long Yale sentence.
North Carolina teen charged after driving dead... →
Talks are in progress for production of “Weekend at Bubba’s” movie deal.
Couple having sex in dumpster robbed by senior... →
Thieves were tracked down by police hounds following the scent of Ben-Gay.
Man killed in banana truck crash →
Friends say he always wanted to die like that; personally, I don’t see the a peel.
Police seek gunman suspect in wheelchair →
He could get off with a lighter sentence if he says he’s wheely sorry.
Insurance companies to interpret spousal abuse as... →
Insurance claims they had it coming.
'Battleship' movie set for 2011 release →
Director to immediately follow up with ‘Yahtzee’ and ‘Boggle’ projects in 2012.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-9-13) →
Bloc Party (51) The Cardigans (40) The Chemical Brothers (29) 3 Doors Down (27) Modest Mouse (26) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
i dreamed all last night i was a car muffler. i...
(via notthatkindagay) Gaseous emission accomplished!
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-9-6) →
The Rocket Summer (40) Ben Folds Five (12) The Cure (7) Radiohead (5) Bush (4) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Zimbabwe gov't may force entire army to be... →
Army brass say they were expecting cuts, but this is ridiculous.
MSNBC's Schultz: 'I Believe Jesus Would Vote Yes... →
Still unsure of the Messiah’s position on gun control, immigration, and gay marriage.
Lady GaGa's vagina is offended at she-male rumours →
Insiders say it’s been conversing closely with Oprah’s vagina for advice on how to proceed.
Seven testify toddler looked hot →
Four also added that he was clearly dressed sluttily and was probably asking for it.
Swedish dad in training to breastfeed future... →
He plans to nip this problem in the bud.
Man allegedly left on bedpan for days →
Where he went on the bedpan during this time is anyone’s guess.
Hitler sex tape ad starts TV war →
NBC has annexed ABC and is posturing to invade nearby CBS studios, plans to purify the airwaves.
Man stabbed with vacuum cleaner attachment →
On the bright side, his crevices are now spotless.
Man wields stolen belt during botched robbery →
Unfortunately, his target was a strapping young lad who quickly bucked down and subdued his attacker.
Beaches to stay open despite shark sightings →
Residents’ Jaws drop in disbelief, consider relocating to the Great White North.
Fire chief shot by cop in Arkansas court over... →
Says he threatened him with his large hose.
Man dies when hit by train for the second time →
His coach says he was on track to win gold in 2012 due to his rigourmortis training regimen.
Man opts for jail time instead of marriage →
If only we all had that option, amirite?
Jesus Christ spotted on Mars →
Says he can’t wait to meet Japan’s first lady.
Man beats 12-yr old grandson for stealing his... →
Hey, 12-year olds need teeth, too, you know.
100-year old skeleton with gun found under shed →
Dethrones Anne Frank as all-time world Hide-and-Seek champion.
Nun arrested for driving while intoxicated →
She plans to enter a program to help kick her habit.
$15,000 worth of semen stolen →
I seed what you did there.
Koi dying off from herpes outbreak →
Infected fish seeing their end approaching should try to enjoy their last days - carp diem, as it were.
Japan's first lady visits Venus →
She also hopes to check out the rings around Uranus.
Sand eating woman →
The mental image is enough to make one grit their teeth.
China blames separatists for needle attacks →
Separatist group denies responsibility, claims the attacks are being made by a syringe element of the movement.
Man fires cannon at neighbor's house →
Claims it was all a misunderstanding, neighbour had asked if he wanted to do cannonballs in his pool.