Proposed laws strangle sales of mutant snakes →
But if we outlaw mutant snakes, only criminals will have mutant snakes! Defend our right to bear mutant snake arms!
Cities shortening yellow lights to generate profit →
Underpants gnomes could not be reached for comment.
26 dead in Timbuktu mosque stampede →
Still no word on what spooked the mosques.
Dental service probed as girl dies after toothache →
Police say that everyone involved will be subject to full cavity searches.
I am not into the idea of living without you..– (via soulforsale) And I, I am not into, the idea of, BEING WITHOUT YOUUUU! (via helpicantstopthinking) And no, this won’t be a sad song There’s gonna be claps and singing along
Montana convenience store bans hoodies, ski-masks →
Store owner hopes that his new sign will be more effective than his earlier signage that simply read, “Please don’t rob me”.
Teacher's lap dance a little too far for students →
On a standard scale, gyrate this one a five.
Bible Belters Ban Puppet Bosom →
Also denounces Ms Piggy/Kermit liaison as inappropriate interracial relationship.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-2-21) →
Godsmack (22) Disturbed (17) The Rocket Summer (15) Nobody Likes Onions (13) Dope (12) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Omaha woman insists she's not dead yet →
Federal officials acknowledge the error, but say it’s an easy mistake to make for anyone that actually lives in Omaha.
22-inch tall Nepalese man seeks world record →
Also has plans to learn to play keyboard and take over the world’s “10-inch pianist” jokes once and for all.
Man Kills Mother with Sword →
Well, what was he supposed to do? She had a sword!
Dead babies left in shopping cart →
Store owner incensed with rising costs of restocking items removed from shelves.
Police searching for former 'Growing Pains' child... →
Aging father Pavel Chekov despondent at having lost his Boner.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-2-14) →
Rise Against (66) Godsmack (29) Billy Talent (25) The Cure (21) Biffy Clyro (15) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-2-7) →
Arcade Fire (24) Dope (16) Godsmack (13) The Chemical Brothers (10) The All-American Rejects (7) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-1-31) →
The Maine (23) Black Moth Super Rainbow (17) Bike For Three! (15) Arctic Monkeys (14) Dark Night Of The Soul (13) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz